


why sir, you seem distressed

by shell-heads (chocopies)



Series: Cap/IM Bingo 2018 II [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - James Bond Fusion, Car Chases, Established Relationship, M/M, agent steve and his smart pants tech husband tony at it again with the crime stopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 23:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocopies/pseuds/shell-heads
Summary: Steve's just back from a mission and looking for Tony when he heads up the street and sees a black SUV take his husband before his very eyes, hands holding a rag to his face and dragging him into the car as Tony struggles against them.Needless to say, he's not a very happy camper at all, and the kidnappers most definitely regret thinking Tony Stark would be an easy pay day. Who knew a spoiled former socialite without bodyguards and a secret husband could deal such terrible, terrible damage?





	why sir, you seem distressed

**Author's Note:**

> a drabble for my stony bingo to fill in the action/adventure prompt!!!

Stepping out of the elevator with a weary sigh, Steve makes his way through Q Branch with a quick foot, eager to turn in his tech and steal a kiss from Tony on his way out before grabbing a hot meal for them both. It’s been a long mission, and his report to Fury is going to be even more annoyingly long, but he can put that off for a while yet knowing that Widow and Hawkeye are currently debriefing in his office. A double briefing with them always takes at least an hour, if only so Fury can yell at Hawkeye for at least half of it. 

Chuckling to himself, he turns into the center of Q Branch and frowns when he can’t find Tony, peering through the glass walls all around them to see if he’s in an office fiddling with something instead. 

“Hey, Steve!” Scott calls out from his desk, raising a cup of coffee in greeting. “Back from your mission?”

“Hey, Scott,” Steve replies, turning to him with a smile. “Is Tony around? I can’t seem to find him here, and I already passed through most of the branch.”

“Oh, he went to grab a bite to eat up from that sandwich place across the street twenty minutes ago,” Scott recalls, “said something about a walking stomach coming his way soon, wanted something warm to eat.”

Smiling fondly to himself, Steve thanks Scott and heads on up to the streets, ducking outside the building and looking both ways to see where Tony is. The sandwich place is only an eight minute walk away, so he can’t be that far off. Spotting him walking through an alley down the street with a familiar paper bag in hand, Steve grins and starts to lift his hand to wave hi as a black SUV comes screeching in, door slamming as a man clad entirely in black covers Tony’s mouth with a cloth and drags him into the car in a single, swift movement. 

Immediately, Steve pulls out his gun from its side holster and squints to focus on the tinted glass, pulling his trigger and feeling grimly satisfied as the car jerks and his bullet makes its target. Firing off three more shots at the tires and missing as the car swerves into a crowd of civilians crossing the street at a light, Steve swears and holsters his gun again to run forward, the chances of hitting a civilian too high in these circumstances for him to take another shot at them. Swinging himself over the motorcycle he’d driven here in, he jets the engine and sets pursuit, narrowly dodging an incoming car as he turns a sharp right to follow them. Revving his engines in warning, he drives straight through a crowd of pedestrians with scant centimeters between them and follows the car around another bend, hitting sidewalk to get past all the cars ahead of him; figuring they’re going to go straight and then make another right for the highway, he cuts through the park beside him and mentally apologizes to the third group of civilians he’s given a heart attack today. 

Free-falling for a split-second as the high lip of the park grounds meets the low roads, Steve catches sight of the SUV careening towards him, a gun slipping out the window to aim for him. 

“I don’t think so,” he grunts, fitting himself close to the motorcycle to avoid the bullets while he drives straight for the SUV, smirking as they begin to panic and swerve dangerously. 

Coming to a halt and pulling out his Glock, he shoots one of the kidnappers in the hand before he can so much as lift his gun again, raising an eyebrow as the back of the car shakes back and forth while he walks close, the idiot he shot writhing on the ground in pain. 

“You guys really fucked up, didn’t you?” Steve asks almost sympathetically, kicking him aside before he can get up and opening the backseat with a wide grin. 

“Finally!” Tony rolls his eyes, his elbow still hovering over the back of one of the idiots’ neck where he obviously knocked him out, climbing over his body and taking the hand that Steve holds out for him. “Damn, Steve, you took forever.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Steve apologizes, pressing a kiss to his temple and brushing shards of glass from Tony’s shoulder, the fourth kidnapper’s head still caught in the window where Tony shoved him through. “To be fair, my leg is still healing.”

“You got shot and you didn’t tell me?” Tony demands, immediately lifting his pants leg to study the tight bandage wrapped around his reopened wound from yesterday’s mission, scowling at the red stains with a righteous fury. 

“Not shot,” Steve denies, smiling down fondly at him while Tony studies the wound, “arrowed. Clint wasn’t so happy about me dragging him back into the game for our last mission in the middle of his vacation, but Nat got him to come along in the end.”

“Yeah, well, next time I see Barton I’ll be sure to shove his favorite combustibles up his ass,” Tony promises violently, standing up as Steve aims a shot at the driver while he regains consciousness from the crash and tries to reach for the gun across the seat. 

“Oh, thanks, I forgot about him,” Tony says, blinking. 

“They after SHIELD?” Steve asks him, highly doubting it. They seem too stupid to know SHIELD exists in the first place, but one never knows after the leak. 

“Nope, just good old-fashioned idiots looking for a payday by nabbing Tony Stark,” Tony shakes his head. “I haven’t even seen the light of day in two months, and these people still manage to pop out of the woodworks. They don’t even know how chloroform works, babe, they’re fricking amateurs; just my luck, right?”

“Well, you’re fine now,” Steve coos teasingly, wrapping his arms around Tony and smiling down at him.

“But our sandwiches,” Tony complains with a pouty lip, reminding Steve of what he’d been doing when he was taken. “They killed our lunch, Steven!”

“We can get more sandwiches, Tony, come on,” Steve laughs, pulling out his phone to call Coulson and slipping his other hand into Tony’s pocket to hug him close as they walk back. “Hey, Phil-we got some idiots over on Wentworth that could use processing…”

**Author's Note:**

> since i'm so freaking awful at the whole action/adventure thing, i cheated by making this as short as possible while still trying to give off the same vibes ldskjlksjflkjsg sorRY FOR THE ROUGH READ GUYS I'M LAME AND ALSO A QUITTER RIP


End file.
